Posts tagged Elijah Wood

12 Hours of Journey

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Coming Attractions/News:

Nothing

New Movies


Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse – Miles Morales becomes the Spider-Man of his reality and crosses paths with his counterparts from other dimensions to stop a threat to all reality.

The Mule – A 90-year-old horticulturist and Korean War veteran is caught transporting $3 million worth of cocaine through Michigan for a Mexican drug cartel.

Mortal Engines – In a post-apocalyptic world where cities ride on wheels and consume each other to survive, two people meet in London and try to stop a conspiracy.

Undisputed Classic

Lord of the Rings: Return of the King – Gandalf and Aragorn lead the World of Men against Sauron’s army to draw his gaze from Frodo and Sam as they approach Mount Doom with the One Ring.

Recast It: Lord of the RIngs: Return of the King

1988

Rain Man – Selfish yuppie Charlie Babbitt’s father left a fortune to his savant brother Raymond and a pittance to Charlie; they travel cross-country.

Dirty Rotten Scoundrels – Two con men try to settle their rivalry by betting on who can swindle a young American heiress out of $50,000 first.

Torch Song Trilogy – Tony Award-winning actor and playwright Harvey Fierstein re-creates his role as the unsinkable Arnold Beckoff in this film adaptation of the smash Broadway play TORCH SONG TRILOGY.

I’m Gonna Git You Sucka – In this parody of blaxploitation movies, a black hero wannabe reunites former black heroes from the 70s to help him get revenge on Mr. Big.

The Courier – When a courier at the D-Day Courier Service mistakenly finds a pile of money in his regular delivery, he does some digging only to discover that the messenger company is a front for a drug ring. A reformed drug user himself, he sets out to crack the lethal ring.

Next Week: Mary Poppins 2, Aquaman, Bumble Bee, Second Act, Welcome to Marwen.

Undisputed Classic – Mary Poppins


Recast IT: Sequels better than the original

Deadpool 2: Lord of the Fitbit

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Coming Attractions/News:

The Happytime Murders – Red Band Trailer
Bohemian Rhapsody – Trailer
Lars Von Trier – Irresponsible Filmmaking

New Movies

Deadpool 2 – Foul-mouthed mutant mercenary Wade Wilson (AKA. Deadpool), brings together a team of fellow mutant rogues to protect a young boy with supernatural abilities from the brutal, time-traveling cyborg, Cable.

Book Club – Four lifelong friends have their lives forever changed after reading 50 Shades of Grey in their monthly book club.

Show Dogs – Max, a macho, solitary Rottweiler police dog is ordered to go undercover as a primped show dog in a prestigious Dog Show, along with his human partner, to avert a disaster from happening.

Undisputed Classic
Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring – A meek Hobbit from the Shire and eight companions set out on a journey to destroy the powerful One Ring and save Middle-earth from the Dark Lord Sauron.

Top Five – Movie Props

1988

1) Willow (Warwick Davis, Val Kilmer, Ron Howard): A reluctant dwarf must play a critical role in protecting a special baby from an evil queen.
2) Call Me (Patricia Charbonneau, Stephen McHattie): A journalist agrees to meet an obscene caller at a bar, and ends up witnessing a murder.

Next Week: Solo: A Star Wars Story, Top Five Shittiest Movies of all time (Figuratively or Literally) and our Undisputed Classic is Salo.

I Would Rather Watch the Notebook

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Coming Attractions/News:

Terminal – Trailer
Deadpool 2 – Trailer
The Spy Who Dumped Me – Trailer
Eighth Grade – Trailer
Sicario 2 – Trailer
Won’t You Be My Neighbor – Trailer

New Movies

Pacific Rim Uprising – Jake Pentecost, son of Stacker Pentecost, reunites with Mako Mori to lead a new generation of Jaeger pilots, including rival Lambert and 15-year-old hacker Amara, against a new Kaiju threat.

Sherlock Gnomes – Garden gnomes, Gnomeo & Juliet, recruit renowned detective Sherlock Gnomes to investigate the mysterious disappearance of other garden ornaments.

Midnight Sun – A 17-year-old girl suffers from a condition that prevents her from being out in the sunlight.

Unsane – A young woman is involuntarily committed to a mental institution, where she is confronted by her greatest fear–but is it real or a product of her delusion?

Best F(r)iends – When a drifter befriends a quirky mortician, an unlikely business partnership is formed. Paranoia soon develops, however, and both men are forced to come to terms with the fragility of friendship and loyalty.

Undisputed Classic

Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind – When their relationship turns sour, a young couple undergoes a medical procedure to have each other erased from their memories.

Top Five – Giant Robot or Jesus Movies

1988

Biloxi Blues (Matthew Broderick): A group of young recruits go through boot camp during the Second World War in Biloxi, Mississippi. From the play by Neil Simon.

Johnny Be Good (Anthony Michael Hall, Robert Downey Jr, Uma Thurman): It’s recruiting time and despite being short and scrawny, Johnny Walker is America’s hottest young football prospect. His dilemma: should he take one of the many offers from college talent scouts or should he attend the local state college with his girlfriend and give up his football career?

A New Life (Alan Alda, Ann-Margret): After a middle-aged couple divorces, they must each enter the frightening but funny world of blind dates and new relationships.

High Season (Jacqueline Bisset): On the isle of Rhodes, Katherine, an expatriate English photographer, lives with her daughter. A young local wants to encourage tourism, so he commissions a sculpture of the Unknown Tourist for the town square; the sculptor he brings to Rhodes is Kate’s ex-husband.

Best 80’s Horror Films & Tomorrowland

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“Tomorrowland” came out this week and while successful wasn’t quite the box office juggernaut I was hoping for. The movie itself has a lot of promise but just falls short. Older kids to teenagers may enjoy the movie more so than adults, but it’s an incomplete movie that’s easy to pull a part. From a Madding Crowd nearly puts the podcast to sleep.

The remake of “The Poltergeist” came out this week as well and is one of the worst remakes thus far. They more or less just took the name and put it on a low rank modern PG-13 horror film. They tried to hard to be different from the original while not being original if that makes sense. It was more or less a money grab all around.

poltergeist

We asked our audience their top five 80’s Horror films of all time. “The Thing,” “The Shining,” “The Poltergiest,” “Evil Dead 1 & 2,” and “Nightmare on Elm Street” led the way while “They Live,” “Cannibal Holocaust,” “The Gate,” “Cujo” and “Henry: Portrait of a Serial Killer” were mentioned as well.

Our Undisputed Classic was “The Poltergeist.” All three of us really enjoyed the movie. It’s definitely a classic. We debate the PG rating and whether Tobe Hooper gets enough credit for this classic.

1985 – Brewster’s Millions, A View to Kill

Trailers:

We Are Your Friends
Jupiter Ascending Honest Trailer
Pixels
Cooties
Knock, Knock
Black Mass

Proceed with the Execution

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Welcome to The I Hate Critics Podcast. This week we talk “The Hobbit,” “A Madea Christmas” and “Nebraska.” We mostly talk about “The Hobbit” though. Let me rephrase that, Josh and Sean mostly talk about “The Hobbit” while I take a nap and cough into the microphone from time to time. Also “Nebraska” is really good, but you’re probably not going to see it.

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Our Undisputed Classic was “African Queen.” Humphrey Bogart won a life time achievement award for this film. If any self respected actor gave the performance Mr. Bogart gave, they’d be run out of town. We’ve all seen it. I struggle to describe this movie when Josh swoops in to save the day.

In 1983 “Silkwood” and “Gorky Park” came out. If you’re going to go back and check out some movies from 1983, these are two great movies to start with. “Silkwood” is one of Meryl Streep’s more underestimated performances. It’s a heart breaking movie. “Gorky Park” has a terrible name, but it’s good too. On a side note Bon Jovi took a band named Gorky Park under their wing in the late 80’s but that didn’t last long.

Our Trailers are:

“Interstellar”

“Jupitar Ascending”

“Edge of Tomorrow”

“Bad Words”

“Godzilla”

“The Knights of Badassdom”

“The Fantastic Fear of Everything”

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