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Samurai Monks in Space

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This week we’ve got three new movies this week, No Escape, We Are Friends, Diary of a Teenage Girl. No Escape and We Are Friends are kind of let downs. No Escape is a movie where you just really never believe the main characters are in danger, but you’re supposed to…i.e. the main characters don’t die, you know they’re not gonna die but your supposed to be scared for them…it’s a let down. We Are Friends is ok, but Wes Bentley is so good in the movie that whenever he’s not on the screen you just want more Wes Bentley and since he’s a small character you spend most of the time wishing he were there which is not good for this movie.

CrouchingTiger

EVERYBODY GO SEE DIARY OF A TEENAGE GIRL NOW. It’s a master piece of a movie and that really everybody should see. That said it’s borderline NC-17 and really uncomfortable…but it’s powerful

Our Top Five this week is Top 5 martial arts films. We talk about Kill Bill, Yojimbo, The Matrix, Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon, The Karate Kid, Drunken Master, Enter the Dragon, The Last Dragon, House of Flying Daggers…and Road House?

Our Undisputed Classic is Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon.

In 1985 American Ninja, Flesh and Blood, Compromising Positions
Our trailers this week are:

Rock the Kasbah,
Kill Your Friends
All Things Must Pass
Everything Will Be Fine

Cool Hand Luke, It Follows, Get Hard, Home

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Welcome to The I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast. In the news this week, Steven Spielberg to direct “Ready Player One.” “Fifty Shades Darker” gets a new director because author EL James was a pain in the ass. Hugh Jackman says he is done with “Wolverine” after the new movie. Idris Elba may play the next “Star Trek” villain. There’s a possible “Office” movie starring Ricky Gervais. Finally the website “Film Threat” funded by Chris Gore is doing a kick starter campaign to keep the site up and running.

The new movies this week include “Home,” “Get Hard,” and “It Follows.” Josh and I have kids and we got out of this movie, but Sean still had to go and it’s not bad. It’s not Pixar, but it’s got enough heart. Rent it for your kids when it comes out.

“Get Hard” is an awful movie with two really funny guys in it which makes it watchable, but hell I’d just watch Kevin Hart and Will Ferrell do the late night circuit. “It Follows” is the independent horror that got so much buzz that it got a wide release. It’s fine, we all appreciate it on different levels but it’s not a game changer by any means. It’s a meta movie and then some.

CoolHandLuke

Our Undisputed Classic is the Paul Newman classic “Cool Hand Luke.” For the first time Sean hadn’t seen the classic but Josh and I had. Josh and I loved it Sean liked it…a little. Sean’s wrong though.

1985 – Desperately Seeking Susan, King David, The Slugger’s Wife, Police Academy 2, The Care Bear Movie

Trailers

Entourage
Spectre
Dope
Southpaw
Maggie

Three Middle Aged Men Talk Insurgent

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Welcome to The I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast. We start the podcast off doing a recap of round two of our March Movie Madness tournament. In the news this week Joseph Gordon-Levitt will produce and star in a “Fraggle Rock” Movie. Chris Rock is penning a sequel to “Top Five.” South Korea is going to drop copies of “The Interview” into North Korea.

There’s a new “Divergent” movie out called “Insurgent.” As three thirty something year old males we hated it…well only Sean saw it but Josh and I have no interest in it. Josh is more interested in the next fan fiction story that’ll turn into the next mom sex book.

condor

Sean insists that Sean Penn could kick my ass…he’s probably right. “The Gunman” is the new Sean Penn movie and it’s as Josh called it, a movie. If you’re going to the movie for Idris Elba, stay home, he’s in it for three movies. Then there is a religious movie called “Do You Believe” that Sean bought. It’s not the typical pandering piece of crap that keeps coming out every month. It’s an honest movie that is a little convenient, but it’s very cool about showing why somebody would have faith.

Our Undisputed Classic is the Robert Redford film “Three Days of the Condor.” This movie is a great, smart CIA thriller. It’s scary how accurate this movie ended up being. It is about as perfect as a CIA spy thriller can get.

1985 – The Last Dragon, Friday the 13th Part 5, Porky’s Revenge, and Baby Secret of the Lost Legend.

Trailers

Mission Impossible: Rouge Nation
Transporter: Refueled
Barely Lethal
Max
Paper Towns
Man Up
Avengers: Age of Ultron

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