Posts tagged Jason Statham

Furious 7, Vanishing Point & They Live

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Welcome to The I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast. This week we only have one new movie so we had to improvise. “Furious 7” the latest installment of the Sean’s a hypocrite for liking these movies but not Adam Sandler movies franchise. And yes he loved “Furious 7.” That’s besides the point because we wrapped up our March Movie Madness Tournament.

Some asshole had gone and ruined the tournament by voting for every movie enough times to make them all dead locked, so we finished off the tournament without you because of one dick. “Inside Llewyn Davis” knocked out “Rocky IV” and “They Live” lived longer than “The Shining.” Unfortunately for our Cinderella story “Inside Llewyn Davis” was too strong and put an end to “They Live’s” run.

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Which then brings us to our next competition. Fantasy Summer Blockbusters. There are two ways to play along at home. The first and easiest way is to latch on to one of the Critics teams. Whichever one of us wins we’ll pull the names of everybody that chose that critic out of a hat and the winner will receive an I Hate Critics mug along with a package of Rockin’ & Roastin’ coffee. There are only three mugs in the world, yours would be the fourth. The other way to play along at home is to have your own draft starting with “Furious 7” all the way through Aug 31st. On August 31st the contestant with the most money wins. If you start your own league share it with us and we’ll happily provide updates on the podcast.
Sean’s Team: Avengers: Age of Ultron, Minions, Mission: Impossible Rogue Nation, Mad Max: Fury Road, The Fantastic Four, Paul Blart 2, Spy, San Andreas, Straight Outta Compton & Magic Mike XXL

Josh’s Team: Inside Out, Ant Man, Ted 2, Terminator Genisys, Pixels, Paper Towns, Hot Pursuit, Aloha, Ricki & the Flash, Sinister 2

Bob’s Team: Jurassic World, Furious 7, Tomorrowland, Pitch Perfect 2, Poltergeist, Trainwreck, The Longest Ride, Insidious 3, Masterminds, Vacation

Our Undisputed Classic is the car chase flick “Vanishing Point.” All three of us would gladly watch “Vanishing Point” over the “Fast and the Furious” films. Quentin Tarantino recommended this movie to us and we fell for it hook line and sinker. He didn’t personally recommend it to us but we’ve heard him talk about it a lot.

Then we defended “They Live” because why not? John Carpenter made a masterpiece. It’s so much fun. Everything that is good about it is great and everything that is bad makes it so much better. Roddy Piper excels at what we can only assume was supposed to be Kurt Russell’s role. If Kurt Russell would have starred it’d have been good, but with Roddy Piper it’s a classic.

In 1985 “Alamo Bay” starring Ed Harris came out and it’s not a very good one.

Trailers:

Interstellar Honest Trailer
Masterminds
The D Train
The Gift
Shooting Clerks

Three Middle Aged Men Talk Insurgent

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Welcome to The I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast. We start the podcast off doing a recap of round two of our March Movie Madness tournament. In the news this week Joseph Gordon-Levitt will produce and star in a “Fraggle Rock” Movie. Chris Rock is penning a sequel to “Top Five.” South Korea is going to drop copies of “The Interview” into North Korea.

There’s a new “Divergent” movie out called “Insurgent.” As three thirty something year old males we hated it…well only Sean saw it but Josh and I have no interest in it. Josh is more interested in the next fan fiction story that’ll turn into the next mom sex book.

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Sean insists that Sean Penn could kick my ass…he’s probably right. “The Gunman” is the new Sean Penn movie and it’s as Josh called it, a movie. If you’re going to the movie for Idris Elba, stay home, he’s in it for three movies. Then there is a religious movie called “Do You Believe” that Sean bought. It’s not the typical pandering piece of crap that keeps coming out every month. It’s an honest movie that is a little convenient, but it’s very cool about showing why somebody would have faith.

Our Undisputed Classic is the Robert Redford film “Three Days of the Condor.” This movie is a great, smart CIA thriller. It’s scary how accurate this movie ended up being. It is about as perfect as a CIA spy thriller can get.

1985 – The Last Dragon, Friday the 13th Part 5, Porky’s Revenge, and Baby Secret of the Lost Legend.

Trailers

Mission Impossible: Rouge Nation
Transporter: Refueled
Barely Lethal
Max
Paper Towns
Man Up
Avengers: Age of Ultron

SpongeBob Ascending

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Welcome to the I Hate Critics Movie Review Podcast. Another throw away week for you good listeners. This week “Jupiter Ascending” came out and disappointed just like we thought it would. The “SpongeBob” movie took the top spot and then I Hate Critics Alum Jeff Bridges made a movie that nobody saw.

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This week we’ve got a double defend it. Josh really likes “Cloud Atlas” and Sean really likes “Speed Racer.” Two films by the Washowskis that not many people either remember or like.

1985 – “Witness” starring Harrison Ford was released giving him his first and only Oscar nom. Then Kelly Preston made every man happy with her film “Mischief.” Then two other films “Lust in the Dust” and “Heaven Help Us” came out.

Trailers

Furious 7
Poltergeist
Beyond the Reach
Faults
Paul Blart Mall Cop 2
Lost River

Remembering Paul Walker

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Welcome to The I Hate Critics Podcast. This week we mourn the loss of Paul Walker by asking our in house critic how he mourns actors he’s said horrible things about. We then jump into the Nelson Mandela bio pic and talk Wonder Woman before discussing how they move forward with “Fast 7.”

All three of us managed to get to the theater for “Out of the Furnace” and we all felt upbeat when the flick was over. It’s one of the most grim, bleak, depressing movies out there, but it’s compelling. I can’t describe how good it was like Sean can so turn the podcast on and listen. There are no spoilers in this segment, but when we talk “All is Lost” we do spoil it however it sounds like the ending is open to interpretation.

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Our Undisputed Classic was “Duck Soup” from The Marx Brothers. Josh and Sean giggled like school girls talking about this one. I felt left out, so I just thought about how all the character’s in this movie had the same name as the characters in “The Devil’s Rejects,” which was something Roger Ebert loved.

In 1983 “Scarface” and “Sudden Impact” came out. We tear into “Scarface” as none of us like that movie. I think it’s long and boring, Josh doesn’t like that it’s hanging up on the walls of dumbasses and Sean doesn’t understand why so many people worship this movie, he dies in a pile of cocaine and wants to sleep with his sister. Now “Sudden Impact?” Great fun film.

Our Trailers are:

“Reasonable Doubt”

“Barefoot”

“Nurse 3D”

“Dom Hemingway”

“Tracks”

“The Amazing Spiderman 2”

Disney’s “Frozen” is Van Damme Impressive

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Welcome to the I Hate Critics Tribute to Jean Claude Van Damme Podcast. This week “Catching Fire” won the box office, but Frozen did great and could even get nominated for an Oscar, Kristen Bell, Josh Gad and Idina Menzel perform some of the best songs in a Disney movie since “The Lion King.” The movie looks great in 2D but in 3D its pinnacle.

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Possibly the best movie of the weekend, “Homefront.” “Homefront” is about southern red neck justice, but James Franco tries too hard, he’s just supposed to be there to get punched, instead he acts. This movie annoys Josh. Sean is somewhat impressed with the heart in the songs from “Black Nativity.” You can feel Jennifer Hudson’s pain when she sings so much so that we feel that’s the reason she got kicked out of “American Idol” as soon as she did.

Sean got to see “Her” and Josh and I weren’t too happy about that because we want to see it. This movie and the performances should be around when the award time comes; unfortunately Scarlett Johansson is not eligible for the Golden Globe, but who cares The Golden Globes is a joke anyway. It’s an interesting question to ask namely because that’s the same question raised throughout this movie.

Penn & Teller produced a film called Tim’s Vermeer. A man named Tim Jenison became obsessed with the 17th century painter Johannes Vermeer. Jenison who never painted in his life uses the same strategy as Vermeer used (which is essentially tracing),it’s still art, but Carrot Top is still a comic.

Our Undisputed Classic was “The Godfather” largely due to the fact that it was Thanksgiving weekend and we released two podcasts last week. Plus “The Godfather” is on everything Thanksgiving. We lazily talk about it, but we still talk about it.

In 1983 John Carpenter’s “Christine” came out. While it was successful at the time I feel like it’s one of Carpenter’s underrated films. “Halloween,” “Escape from New York” and “The Thing” are great, but I think “Christine” is really good.

Our Trailers are:

Enemies Closer – It looks so bad it’s probably fantastic

Welcome to the Jungle – dumb

Bella Kiss Prologue – Dumb movie impressive trailer considering how dumb the movie looks. It’s getting released to You Tube.

Hercules The Legend Begins – Dumb

Son of God – Jesus looks really good

The Secret Life of Walter Mitty – I really want to see it

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